It never ceases to amaze me how appalling the normal human being can be when goods and/or services are involved.
Being a dick to the person behind the register is not going to get you what you want. Being a dick to the customer service lady is not going to get you what you want.
ACTUALLY, pretending like you care about the customer service lady’s teacup poodle, while they look to see if they can order your iPhone three weeks before your original upgrade date is the best way to get what you want.
I know, America. I know. We’ve been told that to get stuff done men need to be assholes and women need to be stone cold bitches. But this is just a lie that assholes and bitches have repeatedly told us all to feel less crappy about their own personal crappy actions upon society.
You want to get something? Be nice. Be overly enthused by the person’s mere existence on Earth. Shoot. Tell them they piss intelligence and oooooooooooooze sex appeal. Lavish them with compliments. And maybe buy them some chocolate? I don’t know, chocolate always makes me nicer, so I’m assuming that tactic will work on everyone.
This is not rocket science, people. We’ve all been in this situation before. Whether you were the person being crapped on, or if you were the crapper-oner.
I just recently had my phone go to the crapper three weeks before the original upgrade date and after repeatedly being told that I would have to wait at least two more weeks to replace my phone, I bit the bullet and finally called the main customer service line.
After being on hold for Christ’s knows how long, frustrated and a little bloated, I was furious. I wanted to lash out at whoever was going to be on the other line. But I didn’t. I’ve been on the other side of this situation, and I knew if I had one hint of attitude in my voice, I wasn’t going to get squat.
So I bit my tongue, pretended like I was a southern belle, and allowed the compliments to roll off the tip of my tongue.
“Oh my goodness gracious! You have a poodle? Well do tell!”
Maybe this is just a unique situation for myself, but I have this weird ability to get strangers to talk about anything. Either that, or I just know when to be nice to get what I want.
Next thing I know she says the magical words,
“Well let me just check something.”
Three days later, I had my brand new iPhone. All because I was nice to the stranger with the power, well that and my killer southern accent.
If someone is going to be a jerk to retail and service folks, they should go whole-hog and be rude to their wait staff at restaurants.
ReplyDeleteThat's how you find out who the real jerks are who don't care about the consequences, as opposed to simple grumpy customers.
Because if you are rude to wait staff and still eat the food, you are hard core, buddy. Willing to eat food with various body fluids in it shows what you're made of!
As someone who worked at a call center for three years: yes. Though, there is an art to it. People who I found were TOO fake got nothing from me. And on the other hand, people who were BIG TIME assholes got a lot. It's all about balance.
ReplyDeleteOr something.
As someone who works front desk at a hotel I can honestly say this is totally true be nice or I'll give you a high rate and the room with the shitty dog pee smell.
ReplyDeleteI learned long ago that the best way to get the most out of a house crew was to walk in carrying a box each of coffee and donuts. (Beer works even better but once in a while you'll find someone who's offended by the idea of drinking at 9am so you have to play that card wisely.)
ReplyDeleteThanks lot for this useful article, nice post..
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I used to deal with complaints for a few companies and government departments....being nice doesn't cost anything and normally reaped rewards...
ReplyDeleteComing from someone who worked inside the fruit-loop, you accomplished the impossible. People have tried all kinds of tactics to get the phone companies and the fruit-loop to get early upgrades and replacements and many have met failure to its face.
ReplyDeleteI applaud you.
As an RN for more than 25 years, I'm QUITE ADEPT at handling obnoxious individuals. Most American adults treat RNs like their personal toilet seats - to be used, abused, and certainly to have nasty stuff dumped upon, at regular intervals. If you REALLY want to be treated like a garbage dump, work with arrogant MDs, indifferent, greedy hospital administrators, along with severely ill/injured/disabled human beings (and their totally unrealistic family members!), and you'll find out what human nastiness is ALL ABOUT!
ReplyDeleteThen, expect your OWN family members to ignore ANY knowledgeable, expert health care guidance you pass their direction, FOR FREE, and you'll COMPLETELY UNDERSTAND why there is a major RN shortage, both in the USA and around the world. Eventually, self-centered Americans are going to WAKE UP SOON and discover that RNs have become EXTINCT here! At that point, AMERICA, GOOD LUCK!
You will have REAPED WHAT YOU'VE BEEN SOWING, for GENERATIONS! Just be SURE to treat ALL OF YOUR MDs in EXACTLY the SAME WAY you've been treating the RNs of this country. They, too, will become EXTINCT, but NOT until they've grown RICH, FAT, and UBER-POWERFUL!!!!! Enjoy! :D
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ReplyDelete